Susie Paine - Selected Writings

     Alice had only just closed her eyes after her horrible aunt's vicious slap when she opened them again. She could see a rippling canopy of leaves and an impossibly large stretch of sky where there had been dull drab ceiling. She sat up and found herself in a large green field, unlike any others she had seen. The sky was very blue, unlike the sickly gray of London. It was also very open with few trees, no houses, and many hills. She decided to climb the tree to see if she could figure out where she was. As she pulled herself into the branches, she felt her dress rip. When she went back, her aunt would be upset. She hoped her parents would come home soon and make her aunt leave.

     The view from the top of the tree was incredible and unlike anything Alice had ever seen. She could see for miles in all directions, and she saw two houses, maybe three. Each was surrounded by fields, with a wavering dirt path connecting them. "I am certain I am somewhere in the country," Alice mused aloud. She continued to look about when she heard a horrible clanking below her. "That must be some kind of wagon," she said as she looked down to see a man dressed entirely in metal armor.

     "Hello, sir!" Alice called down excitedly. HTe man on the horse started and looked up at her. He seemed baffled by her shoes and hair bow.

     "Come down her!" he shouted loudly. Alice slid down the trunk of the tree to land at the horse's feet. "Who are you and from whence do you hail?" The armored man's accent was strange and unlike anything Alice had ever heard. He sounded like the old book her father kept in his study and would read passages from at bedtime. Alice thought a bit about what he was saying, then answered on what she guessed what she guessed he had said.

     "I'm Alice, sir, and I come from London. I have no idea how I got here and I want to go home."

     "Well, little Alice, I am going to Camelot. I will take you with me, and maybe some other knight will be able to take you to London. If it pleases you, would thou mount the horse?" Alice mounted the horse with quite a bit of trouble and bit of help from the man who had identified himself as a knight.

     "Sir Knight, what is your name?"

     "I am Sir Kay."

     "Yes," said Alice, and promptly fell asleep. When she woke up, she could see the lights of a castle right in front of her. It was almost sundown and Sir Kay was talking to the drawbridge guard. Eventually, the horse went forward. Alice was so entranced with the castle in front of her that she didn't notice when a young page came up to the horse to help her down. Sir Kay had already left.

     "Who are you?" asked the page. He was short and had blond hair. Alice wasn't quite sure what a page was, but it sounded somewhat important.

     "I'm Alice. Who are you?" she said timidly. At this point, Alice was fairly sure she wasn't going to be able to go home. "And do you know what year it is?"

     The page replied, "I'm Clarence, and it is the Year of Our Lord 528."

     "Oh, I'm never going to go home again," wailed Alice.

     "Pray tell me why?"

     "I think my parents are dead," she said, making up something so she didn't sound crazy. "Do you know where I could go?"

     Clarence thought for a bit, then said, "Mayhap, the King and Queen would let you work here?"

     "Oh, that would be lovely." Alice calmly followed Clarence into a large hall where she could see the King and Queen and many knights. The King was dressed in beautiful colors that stood out against the crowd. He was sitting at a large round table made of wood. Alice remembered something about his round table from one of the old book her father read her. She thought it might have had to do with King Arthur. It was such a shame she had forgotten all of it. The Queen was very beautiful and sitting in a balcony over the large room with the King and knights. She was surrounded by other ladies and servants, all attired in beautifully colored clothing as well. Alice was delighted by the beauty here, the only things marring it were the knights. They were attired in metal and sweat-stained cloth and did not look beautiful at all. Alice was very excited, but she did her best to conceal it and make herself presentable. She smoothed her pinafore and tucked the ripped part of her dress behind it. She tried valiantly to straighten her hair but failed pretty miserably. Clarence grabbed her arm and she stood still against the wall. These nobles were not very cultured. Alice was appalled by the low standards of hygiene and manners she found in this room, and these were the very best people of the time. Her time, their time, our time? Now Alice was just horribly confused. Sir Kay was talking now about how he had found her in a tree. Clarence pushed her forward to be presented to the King.

     "Would you still wish to return home, Alice?" the King asked kindly.

     "Ummm... Mr. King, sir, I don't think my parents are still alive. My," Alice paused for a bit to think of something to say, "...mother told me to run when I left, so I don't know if they are still alive. Do you... do you know, Your Highness?"

     "I do not know, but I can have knights inquire for them when they visit London. Would you like to stay here in the meantime?"

     "Oh yes! I would like that very much, Your Highness, sir." Alice swept into a curtsy at the end of her remark.​

      "Do you see Queen Guenever up there?" Alice nodded as the King pointed. "Run up to her, and she will take care of you."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Alice replied curtsying again, as she tried to find the way to the Queen. Clarence appeared at her side to direct her. When Alice reached the Queen, Guenevere was very kind as well, even taking Alice to have a new dress fitted The one problem Alice could find with the Queen was that she smelt. Everyone her smelled, which made the castle reek like the pile of scraps behind the Butcher's. Alice knew that one of her goals here would be to locate some nice smelling flowers and put them under her nose. The Queen decreed that Clarence would stay with Alice and help her fit into the court and the new way they had there. Alice was very grateful for a familiar face in a new world of silks and velvets, gold and furs, jewels and crowns. He could help her navigate the confusing situation she had found herself in, and maybe could help her find some soap or a pitcher of water where she could scrub off some of this dirt. Each day was new and wondrous for her, as she met all of the noble ladies and the gallant knights with their brightly polished armor. Alice felt like she would fit in well, even though they didn't bathe.